A valid question. Disappointment and loss are very real parts of life and how to get over them can occupy a lot of time, space and energy.
Men aged 37-56 are in the Autumn of their lives, the time for harvesting the fruits of the earlier periods. A time of enrichment or a time of loss.
The sense of disappointment and loss becomes keener the older we get. And it is during the Autumnal years of our lives that this keenness begins.
Disappointment and Loss
There is not much difference between them. The sense of loss is usually driven by a feeling of disappointment. Unmet expectations create the feeling of disappointment.
During this period most men want to either create loss (weight or fat) or prevent loss (hair, money or sex drive). We’re pretty simple like that. There are plenty of sites offering solutions to all these. This site is not one of them.
Here we will deal with different types of loss and the feeling of disappointment that goes with them. For example…
– A loss of status, usually in the business world
– Loss of self-esteem or sense of self
– A loss of a partner or other relationships
– Loss of general health, particularly mobility
Carrying too much weight or losing hair are symptoms of these. There are plenty of other sites that will give you treatments for those symptoms. Here we will address the underlying causes.
And those underlying causes have to do with the disappointment of unmet expectations.
Autumn is the harvest season and sometimes that harvest is not as good as expected. Our career prospects may dull, our relationships can suffer. Our financial situation may not be as good as we had hoped. Thoughts turn towards the end of work and, often to the political situation in our country. We look outward.
At root of these things are the expectations we had when we were younger. Confronting those expectations is how we get over disappointment. Cutting yourself some slack and accepting that you made mistakes is a good start.
Adjust your plans for the future based on where you are now. Not where you thought you would be.
It is important to recognise that if you do not get over disappointment you can become a burden on your friends. Sometimes it becomes the only subject you are capable of talking about. This becomes boring to them and they will drift away. Be careful with this.
Furthermore, disappointment can lead to addiction; the desire to escape.
The focus of this site is on the Autumnal phase. You can also find sections on loss during Spring (0-19) and Summer (19-37). Winter, of course, is the period from about 56 and may be long…..
Loss is a constant companion. But it need not be debilitating. All that’s needed is to work out how to get over disappointment….
Essays and podcasts on disappointment and loss for men 37-56.
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